Over the years, I’ve had the great fortune to walk all over this world and the great misfortune to step in some awful things. I almost always travel to warm places and wear sandals, so my poor feet have been the victims of various “types of foot.”
It all started many years ago in Egypt as Kristi and I were walking in the desert. “I have sand foot,” she declared, because her sandal was full of sand. About two steps later I stepped in camel poo. “I have camel dung foot,” I said glumly. Since then, we’ve been keeping track of the “types of foot” we get. Here is a partial list.
Asian Street Market Slime Foot – stepped in the slimy, greasy substance that is the byproduct of various animals being chopped up and cooked in the open. Note: residue on sandals attracts curious cats and ants by the millions.
New Delhi Street Foot – sandal came off in Dehli, still traumatized.
Sacred Cow Poop Foot – sacred cow poop feels the same as regular cow poop when squished between the toes.
Cactus Foot – ouch! f#$%!
Rock Foot – a very common type of foot, can be painful. See also: cactus foot.
Volcanic Ash Foot – after a volcanic eruption covered the town of Taormina in ash and lava rock, getting it in the sandals was inevitable.
Dog Poop Foot – the most common type of poop foot; frequency does not alleviate grossness factor.
Mysterious Liquid Substance in Bangkok Foot – still not sure what it was and I probably don’t want to know.
Hummus Foot – along with ISIS and terrorism, one of the dangers of traveling in the Middle East.
Sacrificial Animal Blood Foot – stepping in blood from a recently sacrificed animal isn’t as glamorous as it might seem. (click here to see the macabre photos or look at the photo below and use your imagination.)
Garlic Naan Foot – probably the least terrible thing to step in on this list. Note: I did not eat the naan afterwards. I promise.
Feral Indian Pig Poop Foot – Stepping in feral pig excrement is not recommended. Also, avoid that sewage filled ditch while you are at it.
Pigeon Poop Foot – the most common form of avian foot.
Pee Foot – my own; don’t ask.
As you can see, traveling isn’t always fun. Sometimes it can be traumatizing and gross. Do you have any unusual types of foot to add to the list?
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